Illusion's of a Child

Another day

2006-10-30T03:22:00.000-08:00

Lost with the words through the sentences I try to make

I try wonder when I'll get my words back to me

I follow my footsteps on the shores of unknown grounds

Looking at the stars that shine upon me

I still wonder if I'll ever say the words to you

Upon the horizon, your standing there

Speechless words that come out from my lips

I wonder how you'll react when I say these words to you
Please don't turn around

Follow me through the never ending trails

Hold my hand and I'll try never letting go

Wait for these words to speak

Follow me through the never ending trails

till then..

Our story will never end

I made that poem just on the spot, I'm seeing if its understandable and if it actually makes sense. Sorry for the lack of updates. It was Chris's birthday yesterday. Happy 17th. School started today, and really its been hectic. Too much work. Too much stress. I would say that the break we had for a week didn't really help much. Still maybe its my fault for going out too much and staying up late nights. Being unable to catch with sleep. I slept at 4 in the morning today. Guess how I felt in school. Practically died out. I can't update much cause homeworks just waiting for me. Bummer. Till then..

Another day. I will find my chances in making you happy.

air*

weeeee

2006-10-24T08:08:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder how it feels to be around with the most stupid and gay people? If not, you should try it one day. Meet Ivan Ninan, Ivan Lee, Chris On and the rest of the gang. Meet us. Every day since one of us started the torturing of gang rape. Ball snatching and more gang raping, life has been so damn hilarious, itll never end with these people around. We are the Year 12 batch. Meet our group. :)

Its been awhile since I blogged, maybe because I've just been a darn lazy arse lying around or maybe going out too much and coming home late nights from hanging out. Last time, we actually had a group night out was on Friday haha Chris's party. A night of drinking, a night of making best friends with a bong and a night of freezing to death while sleeping on the damn floor. That night I slept comfortable though, had a blanket and a pillow. Comfy~ while watching all those mothers sleep on the sofa without a blanket to keep that warm. But I woke up from a very disturbing loud sleeper -.- If ever sleeping next to some one make sure they dont snore. It's too irritating. Went to watch a movie that night and bloody hell, don't watch Sinking Japan. That movie is just beyond boring. Damn funny how all of us sitting in one row just happened to fall asleep in that damn movie. Everyone was laughing at us all stupid. That was my Friday night. Fun. Interesting. Too much.

Saturday night, it was Faiz's and Adelines birthday. Had dinner with them. Saw the uninvited person again together with the same clothes from the other night haha. damn disgusting. I just realised when Evelyn told me about it. What made it more disgusting was when I saw him again on Monday, wearing the same shit as well. Quite ermm.. That night my holiday started. Look at today its Tuesday already. I haven't relaxed that much yet and time is passing quite fast and its annoying cause I still need to catch up with work and I need to spend more time having fun before school starts.

Tuesday today. Holy shit. Never go out on a day where theres nothing open. Especially when the place that you hang out the most is closed. Went out today, met Lee, Evelyn and Ninan. Was fun. Then ended my night by going to Angus's house to play games. Unbelievable.

Out of all im cursing these days to go even slower cause I cant stand it going too fast. I need my sleep. I need my fun. I need my time to catch up on work. But at the same time I can't do it all at once. cause cause.. Its IMPOSSIBLE. =( haha oo today, Evelyn and Jasmine got to learn how to play counter-strike. haha. Evelyn and Jasmine are quite pro. Like, 2 kills at once but then it got out of hand and people started coming in and friendly fires kept going on and Evelyn and Jasmine couldn't do anything :( sad story. haha. So today, they learnt how to buy guns haha.. wooo~ and learnt how to pawn ass. :)

Another day. Another night. twenty-four hours more. Till I continue. Till then....

air*

3rd Day

2006-10-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

Good morning everone = ) Its 12:34 am and right now it sucks haha I stayed up all day watching gundam man haha for some reason I like it so much so fun. so interesting and so sad. = ( haha Apparently so many loved ones died in the series like Stella she died. = ( and then you could see the main character just screaming his head out and swearing in japanese haha sad but funny. Right now, I'm on the phone with chris just because he suddenly called me haha. So bored, so tired and I think todays update is gonna be a short one. hehe. so update another day. ta ta~ ITS THE WEEKEND TOMORROW AND ITS THE HOLIDAYS YAY! 10 DAYS!

air*

2nd day

2006-10-18T05:38:00.000-07:00

The second day. Pleasant. Boring. Painful. Today ended the same as other days but still really boring. Still the same class, break, class, lunch and then few more classes then home. Today Jasmine and I over-hearing some argument with a Parent and a teacher Ms. Rayner. haha was pretty funny how the teacher suddenly told this kid off for having his phone ring in the library after school and then mummy to the rescue. I guess while overhearing, the teacher barely even said a word, she walked away and it seemed like she was in tears. Entertaining, just sitting down pretending to read books while being kepo and hearing the argument.

Parents left for Singapore today. Planning to skip school on Friday. Planning to go school tomorrow late. Two more freaking days in school till that half-term break comes and it will be fun just sleeping through the mornings without having to wake up early in the mornings. Stay up late watching TV series. Relaxing throughout the week. What fun hehe. Other than my daily life, of waking up and going to school coming home and that, its been pretty okay. Felt better. Kinda like left that whole feeling lonely phase. Right now, its just never better than this.

Sometimes, I miss the whole relationship thing. sometimes, I wonder how vulnerable and how scared I'll be in my next relationship. So, kinda left that behind for later thinking. Theres times, when I'll feel lonely, times when I'll just suddenly stare at the screen while listening to the music thats playing, just suddenly out of the blue... felt quite bummed out. I guess its the music thats playing on my playlist. But haha. There are times when anyone would feel like that. Not only about in a relationship but just that lonely feeling you know? Lately, haven't been feeling that way. Lately its just smiles and laughters. Lately its just school is taking my mind off everything. Work has just been darn stressful. Makes you wanna run and jump off a hill just to make everything more peaceful and fun. Everyday changes into a better day.

air*

2006-10-17T07:24:00.000-07:00

ahhh... The first day of this blog, the only person that read it was Evelyn haha.. thanks to you, I have readers now = ). Quite surprising to see that in one day Sarah, Yaya, Jirah and Jasmine have visited this blog of mine. Funky.

About today: Was okay. Pretty fun. Boring at times, especially lunch now. Nothing to do but just sit and let the time fly by like nothing. Stayed back after school to catch up on some art work today together with Adeline. Did quite abit of work so I gave myself a pat on the back hehe. Then, Ivan ditched me -_-" saying we would go out to eat but then noo.. he left. Oh, yeah I had a black out today. Pretty scary cause it lasted for like two hours, haha so I decided not to wait for the lights to come back on so I went out with my mummy and daddy, First to have dinner and then to go emergency light shopping haha.

I've got a test tomorrow and right now I ain't that bothered to study or work. I'm sitting here like a bum. Sitting here like theres no tomorrow listening to this song called Fields of hope emo and it's got that tune that you'll just keep hearing it endlessly. :)

Lets see.. life would be boring without the things that could make you laugh. Theres no need to love if there was no one else living in this place except you. If Pandora never opened that box, there'd be no such things called feelings. If there was no such things as words, you wouldn't be reading this. What other stupid quotes can I think of. none. I've got no more words. Next time. = )

air*

The changes...

2006-10-16T05:21:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago. I was a high school dude. Now, Im a senior in my high school. Few months ago, I had the perfect year. As well as I thought, I had the perfect girlfriend but I was wrong. I thought I would never watch my friends leave, but then again I was wrong. I would say that getting into senior school would be way better than high school, but again I was wrong. Its like a step jumping from one end to another, and when you get to the other your completely lost, your stuck. When you don't start moving, your practically skrewd in senior school.

From high school, it was great. Had the funniest and gayest group of friends, from the things we did to the things we were brought to do. From having the first puff, to being an addict. From drinking parties to drinking and smoking in school. Best times, we were a bunch of brothers backing each other up. No one was in control, no one to bother us. We were a group that time, always sticked as one and from what I thought, even though the year would end seriously I never thought we'd seperate. But I guess I was totally wrong. Twas the end of the school year, finished our high school and it was that big leap to another level, but we were dispatched as some of us left to different schools, some failed the exams, some moved away to different continents of the world. From that day I knew, things weren't going to be the same in that next level.

The past will stay as the past, the future will be unwinded from its box and lay in front of our eyes, and we will change. Moving to another level, it wasn't as fun as high school. It wasn't as free. It was hell. We, who didn't leave still stayed as one. We, who left still kept in contact but from a distance we knew we were fading apart. Things never stay the same no matter how much you want them to. We never stay in love, because in the end the other doesn't love you anymore. People are meant to change.

air*